Why I Switched to Slow Living and Stopped Setting Big Goals

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Every time a new year rolls around, there's so much talk about doing more. Bigger goals, better routines, growing a business, getting organized, changing your whole life before January is over.

I used to be right there making the lists. I still love a good list, actually. But when you're living with chronic illness and never quite know what kind of day you're going to wake up to, a big plan can go from exciting to downright discouraging pretty quickly.

I didn't stop having dreams. I got tired of feeling like I was failing because I couldn't keep up with the life I'd planned before I got sick.

That's a big part of why I started thinking differently about slow living.

Slow living wasn't exactly part of my original plan

Sometimes slow living gets presented as this lovely lifestyle choice: coffee by the window, a tidy house, a walk in the sunshine, and absolutely nowhere you need to be.

That sounds wonderful. And some days I do get little pieces of it. But my slower life didn't start because I suddenly decided to embrace a peaceful aesthetic.

It started because pain, fatigue, brain fog, and the unpredictability of chronic illness changed what I could reasonably do. I could make plans on a decent day and wake up the next morning unable to follow through. I'd spend so much energy trying to keep up, and then feel bad about all the things still undone.

Bob has reminded me more than once that taking care of myself matters. It took me a long time to stop treating rest like something I had to earn after finishing everything else.

I'm still learning that, by the way. I haven't suddenly become the world's most patient person.

Why I stopped setting big, rigid goals

Big goals aren't bad. They can be motivating, and I know plenty of people who love having a detailed plan. I still have things I want to accomplish, too.

What wasn't working was holding myself to the same expectations I'd had before my health changed. I was measuring a difficult day against the plans I'd made on a good one. Of course I felt behind.

It wasn't only about unfinished tasks, either. I missed being able to say yes without thinking about how much it would cost me afterward. I missed looking forward to something without also worrying whether I'd have the energy to enjoy it.

So instead of asking, “How do I push harder?” I started asking, “What would make everyday life a little easier, or give me something good to look forward to?”

It's a much smaller question. For me, it's also a more useful one.

What slow living looks like on an ordinary Tuesday

It doesn't always involve a beautiful morning routine. Some days it looks more like this:

• I have an appointment, so I don't automatically plan a grocery run and three other errands afterward.
• I write down what's in my head, then choose one or two things that actually need attention.
• If I have a little energy, I might use it for a hobby or time with someone I love instead of another household task.
• I make an easy dinner, use leftovers, or accept help instead of deciding every meal needs to be homemade.
• And sometimes I spend a good part of the day resting because that's what my body needs, whether I like it or not.

None of that makes for a dramatic before-and-after picture. But these little choices can take some pressure out of the day.

How I make plans without making them another source of stress

I haven't thrown away my planner. I just try to use it differently now.

1. Start with what matters, not everything I could possibly do

When my head gets crowded with appointments, reminders, ideas, and things around the house, I write them down. Then I ask which ones truly need attention and which can wait. There's a difference.

If you like having a place to get those thoughts out, my GLV Daily Focus Planner has a brain-dump area and room for daily priorities. A plain notebook or your phone's notes app works, too.

2. Leave room for the day to change

I might have a usual plan and a much smaller version for a low-energy day. And if I'm having a flare, I may need to stop altogether. That isn't me being lazy or giving up. It's what the day allows.

I've shared more practical ideas in How to Set Realistic New Year's Goals When Your Energy Is Unpredictable.

3. Make the everyday stuff easier

Sometimes the biggest improvement isn't a new habit. It's taking something off the list. Keeping a few easy meals available, asking someone else to handle an errand, or putting the things I use most often within reach.

For meal prep on days when I have some energy, a silicone freezer portion tray is one optional helper. But ordinary containers and leftovers work, too. You can also find more ideas in my low-energy meals article.

4. Keep a little room for enjoyment

This is one of the parts I don't want to lose. When you're sick, a lot of your day can become about taking care of your health or catching up on things you've missed. Having something to look forward to matters, too, even if it's a small thing that might need to change at the last minute.

Sometimes it's a quiet evening, a sunset, a book, or time with family. It doesn't have to be productive to be worth doing.

What slow living doesn't fix

Slowing down hasn't cured my illnesses. It hasn't erased the fatigue, financial stress, loneliness, or frustration of missing things I wanted to do. Some days are still downright hard, and I don't feel calm about all of it.

And not everybody has the freedom to slow down whenever they need to. Jobs, caregiving, bills, and other responsibilities don't just disappear because we're overwhelmed.

I think it's important to say that, because nobody needs another lifestyle idea that makes them feel like they're doing life wrong. You may only be able to change one tiny part of your day. You may not be able to change anything right now.

Slow living, for me, is less about finding the perfect pace and more about questioning which expectations I can stop putting on myself.

Want to try a slower approach? Start here

You don't have to give up your ambitions or change your whole schedule. Try asking yourself:

• What's one thing I keep doing out of guilt, habit, or someone else's expectations?
• What part of my day takes more out of me than it should?
• Is there one task I can simplify, share, postpone, or let go?
• What little thing would I like to look forward to this week?

Choose one answer to think about. That's enough. If you'd like space for a longer check-in, the GLV 3-Month Self-Care & Wellness Journal and Planner is an optional resource. Paper you already have is fine, too.

Does slow living mean giving up on your goals?

Not to me. I still have goals, ideas, things I want to learn, and places I want to go. I just try not to treat a plan like a promise my body has to keep.

Sometimes I make progress. Sometimes I change direction. Sometimes a goal sits untouched for a while. I'd rather keep something meaningful in my life at a pace I can manage than punish myself for not doing it the way I used to.

One last thing

If you're struggling to keep up with everything, I don't want to tell you to simply slow down as though that fixes it. I know life isn't that simple.

But if there is somewhere you can take a little pressure off yourself, I hope you'll give yourself permission to try.

I'm still figuring it out, too. And I still have days when I push too hard or get frustrated by what I can't do. That's part of my life now, even as I try to make more space for the good parts.

Have you found yourself changing the way you set goals or spend your energy? I'd love to hear what that's looked like for you.

In this together,
Laura