The Problem with Toxic Positivity: Why It’s Okay to Feel All the Feels

The Problem with Toxic Positivity: Why It’s Okay to Feel All the Feels

Have you ever shared something tough you were going through, only to hear, “Just stay positive!” or “It could be worse!”? While these comments might seem helpful, they often aren’t. This is what’s called toxic positivity—and it can do more harm than good.

Toxic positivity is the idea that we should always focus on the positive, no matter what. It dismisses real emotions and makes it seem like feeling anything but happy isn’t okay. Let’s talk about what toxic positivity really is, why it can be harmful, and how to offer better support to those around us.

What Is Toxic Positivity?

Toxic positivity is when we prioritize positivity so much that we dismiss or ignore genuine emotions. It’s the belief that we should only have “good vibes”—even during tough times.

Here are some examples:

• Telling someone, “Just look on the bright side,” when they share their struggles.

• Saying, “It could be worse,” instead of acknowledging their pain.

• Insisting, “Everything happens for a reason,” in response to a tragedy.

These responses might come from good intentions, but they can make people feel like their emotions aren’t valid or important.

Why Is Toxic Positivity Harmful?

Here are three reasons toxic positivity can hurt more than help:

1. It Downplays Pain

Everyone has hard times, and ignoring those feelings doesn’t make them disappear. It’s better to face and process emotions instead of brushing them aside.

2. It Causes Isolation

When someone feels like they can’t share their true feelings, they might pull away or feel alone. Toxic positivity can make people think their struggles don’t matter, pushing them further into isolation.

3. It Creates Unrealistic Expectations

Life isn’t always happy, and that’s okay. Expecting constant positivity puts pressure on people to act like everything’s fine, even when it isn’t.

What to Do Instead

Instead of falling into the trap of toxic positivity, try these more supportive approaches:

1. Be a Good Listener

Sometimes, people just need someone to listen. You don’t have to fix the problem—just being there and letting them talk can make a big difference.

2. Validate Their Feelings

Let them know it’s okay to feel what they’re feeling. You can say things like:

• “That sounds really hard. I’m here for you.”

• “It’s okay to feel upset.”

• “Your feelings are valid.”

3. Accept All Emotions

Happiness is great, but it’s just one part of life. Sadness, anger, and fear are normal too. By embracing the full range of emotions, we can support others more authentically.

The Takeaway

Toxic positivity often comes from a place of kindness, but it can leave people feeling unheard and unsupported. By choosing to listen, validate, and accept all emotions, we can create a more understanding and compassionate world. Remember, it’s okay to feel all your feelings—they’re what make us human.

Have you ever experienced toxic positivity? How did it make you feel? Share your thoughts in the comments below. Let’s talk about how we can better support each other. 💕

In this together!

Laura