Want in on a secret?
One of the best things I did for myself was this....I started setting boundaries without feeling guilty.
You might be thinking how is this possible and I'm going to share that with you.
First off let's talk about what boundaries are.
Boundaries are what you are willing to accept and what you won't tolerate. It's a clear line defining those things. You as a person, get to choose who and what you want in your life and ONLY you can determine what that looks like for you.
So once you have that figured out, how do you set boundaries with other people without feeling guilty?
Here's 5 tips on how to set healthy boundaries guilt free.
1. From a loving and firm space, have the courage and compassion to have a conversation with that person that is overstepping the boundaries that you've created for yourself. We're all human and maybe they need a reminder, maybe you've never had the conversation, maybe you didn't define them well enough. There should be no guilt from doing this.
2. Remind yourself that the boundaries you are setting are for your well being and sometimes the well being of your children (if they aren't old enough to decide what this is yet). You're not doing it to hurt anyone or to be mean. You are being responsible for your own happiness and with that sometimes comes difficult decisions that involve setting boundaries.
3. Remember why you set those boundaries in the first place. If this person or group of people are always taking advantage, causing pain in some way or whatever it is they do, ask yourself....What would life look like if I didn't have to feel this way or deal with this kind of situation?
4. Don't let other peoples opinions of your boundaries change yours. They may not understand, not have the full picture, may never had to endure what you have, etc. and while they can tell you their opinion, it doesn't mean you need to honor it.
5. The more you do it, the easier it becomes. While it's going to be difficult at first, learning to stick up for yourself and establishing those boundaries does get easier.
Boundaries are a form of self-care and everyone needs to make sure that they are taking care of themselves in order to be healthy, happy, productive, and compassionate. The more you do it, the better you get at setting them and without the guilt.
I'll be here rooting you on and if you feel you need to talk this out and determine what boundaries you want to set for yourself, then let's chat about how we can make this work for you.
In this together!
xoxo,
Laura